In the movie War Games, a U. S. government computer was programmed to start a global nuclear war. All attempts to alter the computer's program were futile. However, at the last second, the computer stopped itself, saying: "Interesting game. The only way to win is not to play."
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The same could be said of the game that so many of us continue to play: trying to get toxic parents to change. We struggle to do whatever it takes to get them to become loving and accepting of us. This struggle can drain our energy and fill our days with turmoil and pain. Yet, it's futile. The only way to win is to not play.
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It's time to stop playing, to let go of the struggle. This does not mean you have to let go of your parents; it does mean you have to let go of:
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trying to get your parents to change so you can feel better
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Epilogue: Letting Go of the Struggle
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